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Character Profile: Crispin Keeserat


Dec 19 2005, 01:36 PM (Post #1)
Colonel
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Full Character Name (s), Character Nickname (s), Age / Date of Birth, Relatives (Parents, siblings, children, etc), Class / Job, Gender, Height / Weight, Other Physical Attributes / Appearance, Mental Attributes / Personality (In different situations - be specific), Background / History (Be sure to include the place of Origin), Equipment (Be sure to include what kind of clothes you wear, what weapons you have, etc), Other Information (If you have any drawings, pictures, etc please place them here)

Name: Crispin Keeserat
Nickname: Keese
Age: 18
Birthday: Jan 12
No relatives
Class: Thief
Gender: Male
Hight/ Weight- 5'11'' 110 pounds

Brown greasy hair, green eyes, no pupils

Incredibly inteligent, but very narcessitic. That is a constant

Keeserat came from a town in the middle of no where. When a stranger came through town, he became friends with him. The man was a werewolf who had a swarm of rats as a pet. The man told Keese that he could have the rats if he could survive being bit. He ment it as a joke, but Keese accepted the chalenge. The man reluctently agreed to bite him, as he didnt want to go back on his word. He bit Keese, and after about 5 days of horrible pain, he made the transformation to become a wererat. The man explained that because he was a half blood lycan, by biteing Keese, Keese became a qaurter blood lycan. This lack of pureness made him a weaker breed, the wererat. By being a rat, the swarm fallows his commands without question (Think Willard styles)
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Dec 19 2005, 04:11 PM (Post #2)
Colonel
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Im wondering if anyone can give me some advice on a topic?

I made a platform game useing the Game Maker 5.3 engine. Anyways, the game uses my character Keeserat, so I wanted to put it on the internet so people could see more about him. The thing is, the game is about 16 megs, and I dont know anywhere I can upload it for free. If anyone had advise, I would greatly value it. If I take all the sound out of the game, I can get it down to about 4megs,


>Keeserat<
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Dec 19 2005, 05:47 PM (Post #3)
Masked Insanity
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I suggest asking your question in a PM to one the other admins (preferrably Grand)...I wouldn't know.

Anyway, you're going to need to fix your profile format if you want it graded. Go check the other profile topics that were made recently to get an accurate measure of what you need to do.
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Dec 19 2005, 09:21 PM (Post #4)
Not Odd anymore
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Follow the format dictated in the pinned topic, please. Otherwise we will not grade it.

You might want to post that in Origin Related.
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Dec 19 2005, 10:45 PM (Post #5)
Masked Insanity
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Grand, he has the right format listed in his post...he just didn't write the profile out that way...for some reason, o_O.
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Dec 19 2005, 11:20 PM (Post #6)
Not Odd anymore
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I noticed..
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Dec 20 2005, 12:12 PM (Post #7)
Colonel
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I included all relevent information about Keeserat. haveing to redo anything else is assinine...but if thats how you guys roll....then I guess that I have to.



Just want to point this out, if any of you played on the MSN groups RPGs, I was downright feared over there.
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Dec 20 2005, 12:22 PM (Post #8)
Colonel
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Full Character Name: Crispin Keeserat

Character Nickname: Keese

Age / Date of Birth: 18, January 8

Relatives: None

Class / Job: Thief

Gender: Male

Height / Weight: 5'11'', 110 lbs.

Other Physical Attributes / Appearance: Greasy brown hair, green eyes, no pupils.

Mental Attributes / Personality: Extremely narcessistic, Has a pridefull view on lycanthropy

Background / History: Keeserat came from a town in the middle of no where. When a stranger came through town, he became friends with him. The man was a werewolf who had a swarm of rats as a pet. The man told Keese that he could have the rats if he could survive being bit. He ment it as a joke, but Keese accepted the chalenge. The man reluctently agreed to bite him, as he didnt want to go back on his word. He bit Keese, and after about 5 days of horrible pain, he made the transformation to become a wererat. The man explained that because he was a half blood lycan, by biteing Keese, Keese became a qaurter blood lycan. This lack of pureness made him a weaker breed, the wererat. By being a rat, the swarm fallows his commands without question (Think Willard styles)


Equipment: Red Overcoat, Grey and Black shoes, blue jeans, and a nezumi symbol forhead protector.

Other Information: Uses a Rat swarm as a tool, and is infected with a plauge that he is immune too. The plauge doesnt effect any undead, or lycan characters (Or any player characters)
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Dec 21 2005, 02:33 AM (Post #9)
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Don't brag =) Nobody likes a bragger. On any other note, you should edit your post- not create a new one. Here's my grade, regardless...


Holistic Grades
Length: (6/10 points)
English Syntax: (3/5+ points)
Creativity: (4/5+ points)
Total / Final Grade: (61/100+ points)

Profile Content:
Full Character Name (s): (3/3 Points)
Character Nickname (s): (2/2 Points)
Age / Date of Birth [If Known]: (3/3 Points)
Class / Job: (1/3 Points)
Gender: (2/2 Points)
Relatives: (5/5 Points)
Height / Weight: (2/2 Points)
Other Physical Qualities / Appearances: (5/15 Points)
Mental Qualities / Personality: (5/15 Points)
Background / History: (13/20 Points)
Equipment / Clothing: (6/10 Points)
Other Information: (+1)

You have a lot of work to do. The name is nice, and I even liked it. The ability that you actually associate and control Rats is a unique and very different ability from what we are accustomed to. Howevermore, your command on grammar is very low- and I found your spelling to be horrendous in certain locations. Your job was very vague, and left no room for imaginative design. Being a thief doesn't tell me much- besides the fact that you steal things. What you steal and how you steal is something that needs to be included. Remember, just because you want to secure a secret from everyone, it doesn't nessecarily mean you can't put it in here. We don't god-mod on these forums, and you can confide in this for the grade. Your appearance was very vague as well, and so was your personality. I reccomend you look at other character profiles for reference. Your equipment needs to be more detailed.

Have fun working on it. You DO have a lot of work to do.

This post has been edited by Mr. Jack: Dec 21 2005, 02:44 AM
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Dec 21 2005, 12:22 PM (Post #10)
Colonel
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Spelling counts....at first I thought that was borderline retarded, but the more I think about it, I realize that I am also pissed off by people who cant speak their own chosen language very well. Anyways, if I had about 10 different pictures of my character that me or someone I know has drawn over the years, would that fix the physical description thing?
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Dec 21 2005, 12:32 PM (Post #11)
Colonel
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My character has been being developed for the last few years, so I know these details. Just a few questions,



Just because he is a thief, does he have to steal things? Thief is like a rank, and implies more on his skill set than on his moral standings.

What more do I have to imply about his equipment? He only owns what he is wearing, wich I cant seem to post pictures of anywhere.....

Narcessism is a character complex.....right? I thought that by includeing that amount of info, a person could understand the motivation of what I have Keeserat do, and other personality traits other than that are conditional based on what the circumstances are. I dont really see an accurate description of a deep character being done like you are asking. Maybe a shallow and simple character might be like that.



>Keeserat<
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Dec 21 2005, 05:04 PM (Post #12)
Colonel
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Full Character Name: Crispin Keeserat

Character Nickname: Keese

Age / Date of Birth: 18 years, January 8

Relatives: None

Class / Job: Thief, as a class, not a job. He does not steal things without a good reason. He only has the skills that a person would think a thief should have.

Gender: Male

Height / Weight: 5'11'', 110 lbs.

Other Physical Attributes / Appearance: He has greasy brown hair, and a light green color to his eyes. The whites of his eyes have a greenish tint, and he has no pupils.

Mental Attributes / Personality: Extremely narcessistic, Has a pridefull view on lycanthropy. He believes in situational ethics, and will do as he sees fit. He is an extremely dynamic character.

Background / History:
Crispin lived in a small town in the middle of no where. He lived in a nicer part of town, and grew up not having much work to do. He had only one real hobby, and that was making swords from any material that he could. He mostly made them from wood.

When he was about six, a strange man moved in next door to him. The man saw him playing outside, and asked him for help with his gardening. Crispin helped him, and wile he was working, they had a discussion. In that discusion, Crispin's hobby came up. The man said, "I have something for you. A friend of mine gave it to me back in my younger days." He went inside and came back out with a box. He set the box on the ground and motioned for Crispin to open it. Crispin opened the box, and saw a shiney silver colored sword with a Damascus wing feather pattern. The old man told him it was now his, and introduced himself as Socrates.

Later, when Crispin is about 12.

Crispin had grown to know Socrates, but had never entered his home. On one day, Socrates invited him inside. Inside his house, there was around maybe 200 rats. This didnt bother Crispin. Socrates motioned towards a chair, and Crispin sat down. Socrates then started into a long story about how in his younger days, he had traveled to Remang and been bitten by a lycan. Crispin did not really listen to the story, he was petting one of the rats. Socrates finished by asking, "Would you like to succeed my linage as a Lycan?" Crispin agreed, and Socrates pulled out one of his teeth, and stabbed it into Crispin's palm. Crispin started to feel dizzy, and in his last moments of awareness, he saw Socrates crumple to the ground.

He woke up the next morning, in that same chair to find Socrates dead. His heart was at first filled with sadness, but then his emotions retreated into the animal like personality that he had suddenly aquired. He felt empty.

One of the rats said to him, "Keeserat, my lord, what is your bidding?" Crispin said back, completely unsurprised by the rat's words, "Take him out of here."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Anyways, to tie things up

Crispin starts calling himself 'Keeserat'
During the next 6 years, Keeserat trains hard. Nothing interesting happens in that time.


Equipment: Red Overcoat with a part on the back to cover the hole in the pants that the tail makes, Grey and Black shoes "Skate boarding", blue jeans, and a nezumi symbol forhead protector. He also carries around so many throwing knives that it makes a person wonder where he puts them all. He carries around the Silver Damascus sword (18 inch blade), but he never removes it from the pocket in the inside of his coat, were it is completely covered. He owns nothing other than that.

Other Information: Uses a Rat swarm as a tool, and is infected with a plauge that he is immune too. The plauge doesnt effect any undead, or lycan characters (Or any player characters)
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Dec 21 2005, 05:05 PM (Post #13)
Colonel
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A player that used to play here told me that the metagaming is a constant. He told me not to list any weakness in my character, and nothing that could be used against me.
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Dec 21 2005, 06:13 PM (Post #14)
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QUOTE (Keeserat @ Dec 21 2005, 01:05 PM)
A player that used to play here told me that the metagaming is a constant.  He told me not to list any weakness in my character, and nothing that could be used against me.
*



If there was godmodding, I'm sure the Administrators or Mod.s will do something about it. And there ARE some very decent RPers on here who know how to play fair and reasonable, even when their characters are powerful. I don't know how many but I know that there are some.

You have the right to ignore roleplayers who godmod. And report them.
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Dec 21 2005, 06:31 PM (Post #15)
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That would indeed help. We've all developed in our skills, and I'd like to see whoever said that to give me a link to one post that includes metagaming. Also, did you not listen to me before? EDIT YOUR FIRST POST. I'm not going to grade it again until you do so. As for the pictures, I would give you full marks- provided they are adequete and are of the character as a full. I won't grade you on your artistic skills, but if it is VERY cruddy drawing- I will lower that as well.

As for NARCISSM, please describe that as well- not everyone (Which I'm pretty sure includes both Grand and Odd) do NOT know what narcissm is.

Your equipment is fine, just DESCRIBE what exactly they look like. What color are they, how long/short are they, what are they used for- things like that.

And regarding your job? Describe it. A thief generally means you steals things, and if he isn't really a thief? DESCRIBE. Remember- I'm not the one suffering here. You need to put more into your profile if you want to get it approved.

FYI, If somebody is metagaming...Report the post to either me or Haven, and mention why they would know a weakness that is normally kept private. From there- we will figure out if it is actually metagaming or not. I'm telling you, just put a little work towards this, and use spell-check. Type this up in Microsoft word. Make it nice. Alright? I'd appreciate some hard work =) I'm sure with all the years you put into RP, you know what it's like dealing with the new guy. Just don't leave a bad first impression, alright? Thanks.

This post has been edited by Mr. Jack: Dec 21 2005, 06:35 PM
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