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Character Profile: Crispin Keeserat


Dec 19 2005, 01:36 PM (Post #1)
Colonel
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Group: Nobility
Joined: 12/14/05 03:32 PM
Full Character Name (s), Character Nickname (s), Age / Date of Birth, Relatives (Parents, siblings, children, etc), Class / Job, Gender, Height / Weight, Other Physical Attributes / Appearance, Mental Attributes / Personality (In different situations - be specific), Background / History (Be sure to include the place of Origin), Equipment (Be sure to include what kind of clothes you wear, what weapons you have, etc), Other Information (If you have any drawings, pictures, etc please place them here)

Name: Crispin Keeserat
Nickname: Keese
Age: 18
Birthday: Jan 12
No relatives
Class: Thief
Gender: Male
Hight/ Weight- 5'11'' 110 pounds

Brown greasy hair, green eyes, no pupils

Incredibly inteligent, but very narcessitic. That is a constant

Keeserat came from a town in the middle of no where. When a stranger came through town, he became friends with him. The man was a werewolf who had a swarm of rats as a pet. The man told Keese that he could have the rats if he could survive being bit. He ment it as a joke, but Keese accepted the chalenge. The man reluctently agreed to bite him, as he didnt want to go back on his word. He bit Keese, and after about 5 days of horrible pain, he made the transformation to become a wererat. The man explained that because he was a half blood lycan, by biteing Keese, Keese became a qaurter blood lycan. This lack of pureness made him a weaker breed, the wererat. By being a rat, the swarm fallows his commands without question (Think Willard styles)
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Dec 21 2005, 07:46 PM (Post #16)
Colonel
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Posts: 2,579
Cash: 46,264 / 266,023
Group: Nobility
Joined: 12/14/05 03:32 PM
Seriously.....I need to define the word narcessism....and you guys care about spelling. If you arnt all english majors, then what do you care about spelling/ grammar errors. Seriosly, trying to make people prove that their competent, thats one thing; being anal for the sake of being anal, thats another. I proved I can come up with a character. I listed enough about him to show that I am not making it up as I go along. He clearly does not have godlike properties. What is the problem? my real question is "WTF?"
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Dec 21 2005, 08:36 PM (Post #17)
Not Odd anymore
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Posts: 45,875
Cash: 1,915,578 / 1,817,041,051
Group: Administrator
Joined: 7/10/02 09:48 PM
I agree with Mr. Jack; english syntax is one of the most prominent features of RPing. Displaying a mastery of the language in which you write is necessary for the RPs to be logical, coherent, and interesting. And more importantly, it shows you are taking some effort into keeping your RPs as top-notch as you possibly can. Is english your first language?

Testing english syntax (grammar, spelling, etc) is one of the reasons why we require a profile to be made. We want to see that you can write in coherent, understandable, english. The second reason is to test your creativity, and how much effort you're willing to put into RPing.

Get it? We're not trying to be asses here, picking on the minute details and not praising the positives; I agree with Mr. Jack that your character does have very creative qualities, but it just needs to be extended upon - elaborated upon - more comprehensive.

Hope I got my point across.
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Dec 22 2005, 12:18 PM (Post #18)
Colonel
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Posts: 2,579
Cash: 46,264 / 266,023
Group: Nobility
Joined: 12/14/05 03:32 PM
I dont think you guys can understand me, so I will put it out in there so no one can miss it






My character has all the information that would set up who he is. ANYTHING MORE IS LIMETING THE CHARACTER. A good RPing character is dynamic, and wile sticking to a specific complex, does not have to be any one thing to an extreme......



In other words, take it or leave it... I dont really care. I am only playing because a player named cooloser said that it was an interesting site. With all the crap he also said about it, I will take my skills and leave.

The thing about RPing is that english is not as important as you are making it out to be. Understanding of plot.....willingness to keep to your character even if it is counter productive.....these are what matters....

I am short on time, or I would finish this. I dont really care to put the time in....


>Keeserat<
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Dec 22 2005, 06:10 PM (Post #19)
Bottom of the food chain
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Cash: 7,052 / 414,824
Group: Cabinet Member
Joined: 8/02/03 10:40 PM
Seeing your unwillingness to actually put work into it, I can't say we want somebody this mediocre. I refuse to grade your profile- and seeing how Odd won't either, I think I should close this topic. Call me rough or mean or whatever, but I'll be honest with you. You seem like the kind of person who thinks he's top-notch, but at first glance- has the same command over the English language as a 9-year old. Even I had better spelling when I was 8. You need to get your priorities straight. And you think WE'RE being tough? Try getting graded at Island of Elements or Naptilis (Which is currently down). You wouldn't even last a day.

Topic Closed
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Dec 22 2005, 10:22 PM (Post #20)
Masked Insanity
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Joined: 10/16/02 07:09 PM
Just because reading this topic annoyed me....I'll go ahead and point out that the correct way to spell the 'word in question' is Narcissism. sbiggrin.gif

Also, on a whole, I have to go with Mr. Jack and Grand...your mental attributes section tells us nothing, your equipment section is detailed but full of imcomplete sentences, your history contains unoriginal names, and there are at least 13 spelling mistakes.

That's just scratching the surface. Having a dynamic character doesn't mean the character has no flaws.

On a positive note, your name was creative, and so was your char's ability to 'control rats'. Improve on the things I mentioned above and you will have a good chance at some of the other RP sites. As far as I'm concerned though, you're done here.
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Dec 22 2005, 11:13 PM (Post #21)
Not Odd anymore
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Joined: 7/10/02 09:48 PM
Oh and before I get to comment?

You don't understand, Keese; proper command of the english language is necessary for RPs to flow nicely and coherently. No offense, but you write like Mark Twain in Huck Finn...

Put some time and effort into it, and I'm sure you'll be able to do it. You just seem so pompous to the point that you're unwilling to improve on your english. Plus, incorrect spelling or grammar usage annoys me, as does probably everyone else, which can be testified by anyone who has been on Origin for more than a couple days.

I see that you're avoiding punctuation - that just shows plain indolence. Who can't add an apostrophe to don't, can't, you're, won't? At an average 75 words per minute, that apostrophe should take no more than 1/6th of a second. That 1/6th of a second would better represent you in the face of other RPers.

What did we think when President Bush said "Is our children learning?", "Are they being edumacated?", etc? His slips on english gives us doubts on his own mastery of the language, but look. Those are accidental, and cannot be avoided. Yours are just out of plain indolence (as I said, to reiterate a point) - and that means you can avoid them. So do it.

QUOTE
My character has all the information that would set up who he is. ANYTHING MORE IS LIMETING THE CHARACTER. A good RPing character is dynamic, and wile sticking to a specific complex, does not have to be any one thing to an extreme......


The profile is to test your ability to write and conceive ideas. Dynamic? Look at Odd/Haven. He has many characters, and all are equally well documented in the profiles; and all are used dynamically in his RPs. The profiles are not limiting, but the profiles take away from the limiting factor.

Please take our words into consideration and just utilize an extra 1/6th of a second and do as well as you can.
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