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Poem Contest - Ratings

Dec 19 2006, 05:58 AM (Post #1)
Masked Insanity
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This is the topic where everyone will rate the works of the entrants to determine the winner of the contest for 2006. sbiggrin.gif

NOTE: Nobody is to post until I have. This is because I am still waiting for our remaining entrants to meet their deadlines.

The system seems complex, but is actually quite simple, so read carefully so I can avoid questions later.

Basically, each "voter" will rate each set of poems from our entrants (not including their own if they are an entrant themselves) based on a scale from 1 to 10. An explanation will be required for each rating as well to avoid unfair bias, and the ratings will be based on the scale below. Keep in mind that the ratings are still based almost completely on opinion, but I expect everyone to be fair in their judgements.

1 = garbage
2 = weak
3 = poor
4 = below average
5 = average but flawed
6 = average
7 = good but flawed
8 = above average
9 = very well done
10 = brilliant

This scale is to be followed by everyone, and is the main reason a short explanation is required with each rating. BE SURE TO BASE YOUR RATING ON THE COMBINED QUALITY OF THE THREE WORKS, NOT JUST ONE.

The winner of the contest will be determined by the highest average rating among the entrants.

All critiques must be fair as judged by myself and/or Kiro, so don't try to pull anything on us. Also, I must ask ALL ENTRANTS to please not be offended by any critiques that are deemed fair and unbiased.

In the case of conflicting ratings and/or opinions (ie someone gives an entrant a 3 when everyone else give that entrant an 8 or higher) the odd rating will either be dropped outright, or Jinghao, Kiro and I will debate the quality/basis of the rating to determine whether or not it stays.

With all of that said, here are the works of the contest entrants. Enjoy and behave. ^_^

Odd's Works

Lucky Number

I'm good at telling lies, to everyone but myself.
I tell myself everything I want to hear,
Yet I can't seem to accept the things that are said.
What kind of person does it make me,
If I can't even trust my own words.

Lucky number thirteen I'd say,
But what kind of mockery is that?
Must I be so different, as to
Pick the number people feel is
The most unlucky of all?

My lucky number is not thirteen,
That is just another lie.
I have no lucky number.
I believe luck is blind, and
Being blind makes it random.

Lying is second nature,
An automatic responce.
Who needs luck when everyone
Believes every word you say?
Manipulation is my mastery.

Controlling people is easy,
For I am the perfect liar.
When they believe what you say,
They become blind to the truth.
Problem is, thats when you lose control,
Because being blind, makes them random.

My lucky number is every number,
Since any number can be the lucky one.
Unfortunately, its random nature makes
Every number possibly unlucky as well.
So, your lucky number is a lie just like mine,
But why should you believe me?

I just stole your number, and
I just stole all your luck, but
Best of all, I stole something far
More precious...two minutes of your time.
Because you havent understood
A single word you've read. Bye-bye.

Lucky Number (2nd Coming)

Cutting the bonds between us,
Oh yes, slashing our ties,
I never thought I could be
So calm and ruthless about it.
You crowded out my luck.

Born on the eleventh day,
Of the seventh month,
On the year of the hard eights.
A birth to symbolize luck,
Had no bearing on my lifestyle.

Numbers are everything right?
They define the definitions of
Reality itself, and the boundaries
We set for ourselves and others.
So why do they mean nothing to you?

I was born to thrive on order,
You were born to thrive on control.
But I am luck, and you a dealer,
So just like the luck I adore,
I become uncontrollable, my love.

Thirteen steps left to the end,
Twelve hours before our twilight,
Eleven times you called me,
Ten numbers you dial to connect,
Nine feet away I sit thinking,
About the eight times you ignored me.

Seven days ago we slept soundly,
Six houses between our bodies,
Five fingers shaking with nervousness,
Four people playing the mediator,
Three reasons I wish to avoid you,
And your two eyes bite into me like a snake.

The countdown to end all others,
There's no way you didn't notice it.
Relationships are games of luck and chance.
It's just like roaming a casino,
And hoping everything goes your way.
Lucky numbers seven-eleven, my ass.

Hold, Dear Soldier

Here I am, Standing on the edge,
Where life and death collide,
Hold me back, Hold this anger.
How are you, Right behind me,
Safe from the danger we made,
Hold yourself, Hold your tongue.

Clinging desperately to sanity,
We find ourselves waiting for
A resolution that will never come.
Forgetting why we're there,
Fighting for a lost cause,
Holding onto a fading hope.

Real battlefields astound us,
Imagination folds under the pressure,
Hold onto me, Hold the reins.
Someone must survive this,
And so it must be you,
Hold your tears, Hold your soul.

Your world and mine,
Are very different places,
But you've earned your right.
Acting on pure impulse,
Pushing you away from me,
Remembering my love for you.

I am a soldier, Born and rasied,
Understanding my duty,
Hold your pleas, Hold the memory.
Your life comes before mine,
I am the savior, It's my sacrifice,
Hold the sound, Hold my courage.

You flee while I stand ground,
You cry for me without knowing me,
I know your innocence though,
And that's enough for me.
I fight for you, And I fight for us,
But my job is to protect all.

Nobody realizes my purpose,
I'm not here against my will,
Hold your insults, Hold criticism.
I will die for my beliefs,
I will die for what I know is right,
Hold your honor, Hold the praise.

All that matters to me,
Is that you will go on living,
And I was successful in life.
Say what you will of me,
Be it for better or worse,
I will never know you now.

Icey's Works

Rain Dance

Thunder rolls overhead
As I stand outside my home
I spin in a slow circle
Eyes cast to the sky
I'm waiting for the rain to come

The rain begins to fall
Slowly, but it's there
I continue to spin
An inhuman cry escapes me
As my spin turns into a dance

The rain falls harder
I spin faster,
Not noticing the rain
Dancing in the wet grass
A rain dance
In my yard
A prayer for more rain
For this parched earth
For this strange girl
Who loves the rain

Thunder rolls overhead
As I stand outside my home
In the middle of a thunderstorm
The rain dance
Is complete


Clouds tumble across the sky
A pack of wolves on the prowl
They growl, forming thunder
I listen, waiting for the rain
The clouds gather
The wolves, growling louder
Have they found their prey, then?
Have they found what they're looking for?

Clouds spill their gift to the earth
I'm caught in the rain
The wolves caught me
The wolves
The clouds
The rain
They caught me
Easy, willing prey


There is something
A feeling
Something warm, inviting
What is this feeling?
I smile more, laugh more
All when I'm around you
Did you do this, then?
You, my dearest
Did you find the pieces of my broken heart
And mend it back together?
Was it you who gave me this feeling?
Something familiar, yes, yet
Completely unknown
Something that cannot be described properly
Not by the greatest of writers
Of artists, of humans
Not by any language on this Earth
No matter how old or new it is
This feeling cannot be described or painted
Captured and studied
It can only be felt
This feeling I have encountered
All because of you, my dear
You, who healed my broken heart
And I know I may be cold at times
Distant, even
But I hope you feel what I feel, too
Because it is one of the greatest of all human emotions
Known as

Leviat's Works

Goodbye, Finally

"Keep your mouth shut this time around
All those lies just bring me down
If there was a prize for hurting me
You'd have no competition for the crown

You're just like a parasite inside
But still I cannot say goodbye
Only one I loved for so long
Thanks to you all the love is gone

Into your eyes I cannot look
Without remembrance of the past
You only want what you can't have
Now what you want is fading fast

I was the words and you were the pen
Now that's gone like it never had been
Never again will I change for you
I am who I am because it's what I do

When I found you I forgot myself
I was just lost in how you felt
Foolishly trusted you to do the same
For all my trust I got only pain

If he's more to you than me, so be it
If not, to love you he is unfit
You say I'm the one and it's me you miss
Even say I'm the only one you want to kiss

I'm sick of believing all your lies
I'm tired of being the one who cries
Maybe now you'll know what it's like to hurt
When I finally am able to say goodbye

No matter how hard I try to act
I still miss you and that's a fact
Even if love's a lonely loser's longing
I sit by the phone and wish you were calling

Feel so drained of all my energy
Used up wondering what we could be
World went cold, mind went dead
A lonely word echoes in my head


"Sometimes I just, I
wanna hear you say
That your proud, or
maybe, that I'm right.

I just, I just don't
wanna make you yell
Just, please don't
act so disappointed
Just, please don't
Look at me like I'm something wrong
Just, please don't
mark me unworthy of your praise
Just, please once
Show me a sparkle in that eye
Please, just...just once
don't hold me to your standard
I'm not you I'll never be you I can't be you
I wish I were just like you

Sometimes I just, I
wanna hear you say
That your proud, or
maybe, that I'm right.

Just once and awhile,
Maybe. Maybe I
Don't have to be a letdown,
Maybe. Maybe I
try as hard as I can,
Maybe. Maybe I hate that look on your face
You know that look
Like I shoulda done better, or
Like I let you down
Maybe, just maybe
One day, Someday
I won't have to see that face
Maybe someday you'll smile
As you say,
'I love you, good try son, I'm proud'
or maybe you'll just let me die"


"You won't help me but I want to heal
You only hurt me when I need to feel
Keep on dying I'm afraid to live
Keep on trying but I'll never give
Anything, for anyone, no never again

Where are my walls now when I need them up
Keep on standing now I'm holding tough
Don't forget memories are all that's left
The feelings faded now we're left to guess
Never feel, anything, no never again

Passion's back now I can't help but care
Take our clothes off now our passion's bare
Cannot decide if this is love or lust
Find no answers as I start to thrust
Do you feel, what I feel, while I am inside

Touching you it makes me feel so right
Even better cuz your pussy's tight
Nothing's wrong with losing innocence
Because I love you while we do this dance
Do you love, that I love you, while I am inside

Only did it to bring the feelings out
Knew they were locked inside without a doubt
More than something with which to pass the time
I'd be yours and then soon you'd be mine
But I lost, everything, while I was inside

Spot you one day sitting at the park
I move in closer as it's getting dark
You start crying you look so alone
All my fault, I wish I could atone
Took everything, you ever had, I am so sorry..."

Cow's Works

Crystal Ball

Our eyes met in the mirror
Two pairs by chance transfixed.
Focused forward on the same destiny
Looking ahead to the identical dreams.
Our gaze reflected straight ahead and back
Piercing to the depth of our souls.
If meant to be does exist, you know
and I know that it could not have been
more clear, crisp, sharp than that moment.

And now the crystal is obscured
A kaleidoscope twisting and contorting
Colors, life, the world into a swirling spiral
No pupil at the focus but a harlequin mess
The lens unfocused, the retina detached.
Like a fun-house of mirrors, warping
That momentous image of truth.
Widened into monstrous proportions
Narrowed into nearsighted negativity.

What shall it be then? Let what we had
drift telescopically beyond grasp?
Watch it fade into the page, unrecoverable
in its microscopic pettiness?
If it is so destined, can we at least say that
we tried the glory of fighting it, of saving it?
The sun is still burning, but our days are numbered
Let this accursed night give way to dewy dawn
Let them shield their eyes in our forthcoming light.

Memory Flight

They say good times fly and oh how they soar--
Fly, soar, transcend the clouds of thought on albatross wings
Rising higher, brighter, ever higher---into the sun, Icarion glory.
A moment of truth crumbles to an eternity of lies.
What was good then never does last
And returns to earth as chaff of the harvest
Blackened remnants of love and life, triumph and success.
What are memories but happiness passed and gone?

Moments of pain, nightmares of fright
The opportunities missed, the chances lost
Grasping the air, Feel them slipping away.
Darkest memories saturate the landscape of mind
Gathering underground only to violently erupt
A geyser of past hurts, viscous oil
Lingering after the dream.
What are memories but poltergeists suppressed?

And so the bittersweet hovers in between
Suspended in midair, neither light enough to drift away
Nor sufficiently heavy to sink to the heart.
Cinnamon tossed with dust, nutmeg and bone
Mixed into the air and sucked into the lungs.
Reminiscence and deja vu, not quite forgotten
But rather too trivial to remember
The mundane of the moment, caught up in the everyday.

A Farewell Welcome

The warmth of the rising daylight beckons

Burnishing the hills with untainted gold

Outshining man’s flame, scorching the seconds

Away, hidden obscurity untold.

The cold glinting of civilization—

Utilitarian manifesto,

Scoffs at the sun, as should a great nation

To Conquer and corrupt; life a tableau.

To wander the hills, Thoreau’s disciple

Or stay at town, with the fisher of men?

The wolves’ warm jaws, necessity’s staple

Or cold hard steel, the soldier’s regimen?

Such are the choices: run away or stay,

But man made for company, brethren—hey!

Kiro's Works

Untitled #2

In early May,
When introduction is naught of air,
And furlined coats
Are soon passed for lighter outerwear,
The dance was slow
Like holding hands on a quiet night,
With sparkled sky,
Our shadows shivered from firelight,

In late July,
The flame has turned to a vibrant blaze
The tempest night
Relented evenings gave to feelings raised,
Heat pouring down,
Dispensing vigor to the fewer
Blessed were we
With promise of rain, dreams unobscured

But winter rests,
Cold and choking the fire of our lives,
Cooling cinders
That but remain in what love derives
Withered splendor
Filtered through distrust for days to come
A lost promise
For that which is dried and gone

Untitled #3

I saw you through artificial light streams
Pouring so jealously from the ceiling
You laughed, I smiled
And time was somehow forgotten
In a crowd of vagrant strangers
Everyone around was lost
searching desperately for the exit
But their glass lives were chained
To the widowed storm or the payroll
I knew your heart
Before I knew your name
And I stole a touch of your hand --
The delicate flower virgin to bitter rain
When questioned, the truth of our time
Did not betray my secrets to you
So carefully inscribed on dimly lit paper
I'm asking you
Who has seen so little of the world
Where do cars go,
Having disappeared into the molten twilight?
The answer sparkles in your eyes
Like an oracle of fire
Dancing around the truth
But what I see now is dead --
The consuming darkness of midnight
And the exposure of memories
So soon designed
How I so desperately long
To admire your face in the crowd again
With soft skin, tender eyes
And rewarding smile under the incandescent sun

Untitled #4

Muted ramblings and the radio
So far away on the edge of consciousness,
Unfit beside your splendor,
With brazen red sigil wrapped around your neck,
And hair, dark and alluring as
The wisp of incense that brushes my vision

Sitting so cautiously in a tangerine glow
Candlelight illuminating your face,
The midnight dogs howl in jealousy,
But I'm alone when the candle dies;
Fearful of the impending darkness,
My nights are sleepless and my fingertips burnt

Approaching the dawn of tomorrow's drear
With sunken eyes, having wrought tears and wine,
I scream, casting mourn at your disappearing shadow,
"Why can your skin not come to mine?"
By then, you'd left into some dream;
I'll wait for the dogs to signal your return
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Dec 21 2006, 06:50 PM (Post #2)
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QUOTE (Odd @ Dec 19 2006, 12:58 AM)
Basically, each "voter" will rate each set of poems from our entrants (not including their own if they are an entrant themselves) based on a scale from 1 to 10.

Why don't we just rate the poems out of 10 individually instead of as a set, and then the highest overall score wins. Also, we could have a "Best Poem" (poem with the highest average rating) along with the Best Set of Poems.
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Dec 21 2006, 11:22 PM (Post #3)
Masked Insanity
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To answer your questions Lev, I had planned on doing it precisely the way you described, but I needed a system that saved time for everyone, including myself. I want a lot of people to rate the poems, and the more work a person has to do to rate...the less likely they are to even do it. FROWN.GIF

I CAN still do the highest rated poem afterwards as a bonus. Both winners will get the same sized prize, but only one will earn the "Best Writer of 2006" award. Thanks for metioning it...and sorry I had to delete your post, but I need cleanliness.

I'm still waiting on our last two entrants to submit their works. I extended both of their deadlines until Christmas, but after that they will be disqualified. Until then, I ask everyone to be patient.

To Jingy...stop editting crap! >_<
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Dec 22 2006, 03:10 AM (Post #4)
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so when do we start this thing?
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Dec 23 2006, 06:37 AM (Post #5)
Masked Insanity
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Two days left until their time is up. o_o Becca has extentuating circumstances..and because of that Al gets a free ride out of fairness. I will deduct half a point from their final ratins at the end be fair to the rest of the entrants who submitted on time.
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Dec 23 2006, 08:15 AM (Post #6)
Here for the cute boys ;)
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I thought it was a long while ago.

Eh well, my poems are kind of... O_O
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Dec 26 2006, 07:51 AM (Post #7)
Masked Insanity
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Well it no longer matters. Time is up guys, sorry. It's rating time.

Remember that these posts are for reviews and ratings only. Don't be mean, and don't play favorites.

-I liked 'Clouds' and 'Emotion', they had good imagery as well as a semi-profound meaning. I had a problem with Rain Dance seemed to be random and slightly cliche.

1: ~6
2: ~8
3: ~8
Overall: 7.5

-I liked the point of 'Goodbye' but had trouble following at certain points. 'Someday' had a lot of good qualities, along with a good mood setting, but in the end I felt like something was missing. Besides being slightly cliche, 'Inside' was my favorite by far among your works. I loved it.

1: ~6
2: ~8
3: ~9
Overall: 7.7

-Above average all around my friend. I liked all three, especially the word choice in certain places, but in the end, nothing in particular jumped out at me.

1: ~8
2: ~7
3: ~7
Overall: 7.3

-Excellent imagery on #2 along with a great mood setting. Your second poem had an inner meaing for me, as well as having a relatively bright mood compared to most of the other poems, so I liked it a lot. Short but sweet...#4 grabbed my attention, and ended on a neutral note (which is hard to do).

1: ~7
2: ~9
3: ~8
Overall: 8

Good job everyone, sbiggrin.gif. I was thoroughly impressed by some of the works. Please also keep all of your rating post in a format similar to mine, and make your final ratings obvious.
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Dec 27 2006, 08:44 AM (Post #8)
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^^ Time for a moment of complete honesty. I hope I don't offend anyone

Lucky Number - 7
Lucky Number (second coming) - 6
Hold, Dear Soldier - 9
Final - 7.3

At first I thought the Lucky number series was tacky, but the end of each were their saving graces. I had originally thought they were meant to be serious, but that changed. As for Hold, Dear Soldier, I just love it ^^ Maybe a bit of wording modifications, and you'll have some 10-grade poems.


Rain Dance - 6
Clouds - 8
Emotion -7
Final - 7

Rain dance was good, but it seemed to switch perspectives, and it kinda caught me offguard. I liked the comparison between wolves and clouds in the eponymously named "Clouds." Emotion was terrific, but unfortunately seemed clich. Regardless, a nice all around rating


Goodbye, Finally - 7
Someday - 8
Inside - 6
Final - 7

The first two were good, but the second was a bit of a turn off. Words like pussy, and the like tend to bug me when they're in poetry.


Crystal Ball - 8
Memory Flight -9
A Farewell Welcome - 6
Final - 7.6

A lot of my rating for you comes from things I can't put into words. Your writing style is very good, but a farewell welcome seemed a tad.. out of sync with the rest

I enjoyed all the reading, just the same ^^
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Dec 27 2006, 11:10 PM (Post #9)
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I just have Haven's now, I will finish the review's tomorrow when I have some time.

I felt like all of your poems (but one) were good, but none of them really jumped out at me as "brilliant" (a 10). None of these hit an emotional chord in me that would have me thinking about these poems when I am off the site. And they don't seem like poems so much as just thoughts written down, and I've always preferred the more "sing-songy" lyrical type poems. Despite that, I put my personal love of rhymes and lyrics aside to view these with an unbiased eye. Oh, and I hope my final grade did not Have to be the average, because mine isn't.

Lucky Number: 9
Lucky Number (2nd coming): 5
Hold, Dear Soldier: 8
I enjoyed reading "Lucky Number" and I like how you tied together the luck being blind, blind being random, lie to them to make them blind, then they become random thing. This poem made me think a lot while reading it, even tho at the end you proclaim it a waste of time (which got me to chuckle).

"I believe luck is blind, and
Being blind makes it random.

They become blind to the truth.
Problem is, thats when you lose control,
Because being blind, makes them random
I disliked "2nd coming" as much as I liked it's "brother poem" if you will. I didn't see the point, and whereas I found the ending of "Lucky Number" clever and even laughed to myself at the end of it, I just thought 2nd coming was stupid.
I liked "Hold, Dear Soldier" and thought it was the most emotional of your poems, but it was nothing that would move me to tears. Solid poem though.
Overall: 7.5

This post has been edited by Leviat: Dec 27 2006, 11:24 PM
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Jan 3 2007, 06:25 PM (Post #10)
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Christ, Lev is still here. And still has the FTW sig :'( I am so overcome with nostalgia. Truly, all my Origin friends are still around!!! sbiggrin.gif

How ya been Lev?

Ah, voting-

1 = garbage
2 = weak
3 = poor
4 = below average
5 = average but flawed
6 = average
7 = good but flawed
8 = above average
9 = very well done
10 = brilliant

7, good but flawed.

Loved the concepts, didn't love the actual poetry. I could tell from the off where they were going, which is a plus, but the actual words didn't strike much with me.


Pretty much as above, although I liked some of the words a bit better. 7.5 perhaps. I liked the Wolves/Clouds imagery.

9, very well done.

Angst, gotta love it stongue.gif I love the rhyming (I just love rhyming in general), but in the first poem the rhyming signature kept changing, which was awesome. I love how it didn't feel constricted, but it still felt like it had some form of structure.

8, above average.

Memory Flight was the best, Icarion glory ssmile.gif I think A Farewell Welcome brought your score down a bit. A tough one to mark, but I'd say 8 is fair.

10, brilliant.

#2 just wins. That's just it. Excellent imagery, structure, rhyme. #3 I wasn't a fan of, but #4 was again great - nice use of the word tangerine, and also I liked the sly "wine/mine" lines, whether it was intentional or not.
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Jan 4 2007, 01:46 AM (Post #11)
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Thanks for the quick ratings GJ. sbiggrin.gif

It seems everyone has been honest enough, and everyone's opinions have varied in some way, which is perfect. Now we just need Lev to finish, and get a few more people in here to rate these poems. Becca, Icey, al, etc....THAT'S YOUR CUE!
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Jan 7 2007, 11:24 PM (Post #12)
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I'm going to try my best on these. If you guys don't like it, then go ahead and throw my votes out.

Tsuya: 8.5
I enjoyed the poetry, although it was kind of hard to get into it -- but that's just me because I don't read it all that much.

Icey: 8.75
I could relate to your poetry. Nothing particularly jumped out, although your descriptions were very good.

Leviat: 8.5
It's very angsty, and poems of angst are way too common, like love songs, so I bumped you down. It's very well written though.

I'll finish this later.
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Jan 8 2007, 02:28 AM (Post #13)
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Odd: 7.5
I thought overall it was creative and well thought-out, but didn't strike me as something excessively brilliant

Icey: 7.46
Good choice of topics. That's all I gotta say.

Lev: 7.4
It sounds really deep, but the grammar ticked me off a bit. Plus the structure o_O And the topic's a bit too risque, and ... well it's not punny or euphemistic.

Cow: 7.7
Interesting read, definitely, especially the Crystal Ball. That one sounds emo, though. Did you fall out of love or something? stongue.gif Anyway, the rest sound familiar o_o

Kiro: 7.6
Good rhymes sbiggrin.gif. But no titles?
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Jan 8 2007, 03:30 AM (Post #14)
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Joined: 10/16/02 07:09 PM
Your ratings are a bit low Jingy, neh? stongue.gif I'm just glad you proved you read them. Thank you both for the ratings. ^^
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Jan 23 2007, 05:16 AM (Post #15)
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Posts: 4,937
Cash: 29,817,448 / 68,857,771
Group: Representative
Joined: 11/26/02 02:31 AM

o_o this will be finished before I start college.. If I have to spam in it so people notice it.. whatever.
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