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Character Profile: Eveline Ren Uchida, Grade this please.


Jan 8 2007, 02:27 AM (Post #1)
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*Ahem*

So, I would like to try out for an RP License and for some reason, I can't start a new topic in the profile archive (maybe my newbness prohibits me from doing it, but I have two other profiles in there so I don't know what's up with that). bigeyes.gif)-->blink.gif Maybe an administrator can move it for me.

Hope who ever reads this will enjoy it! ^_^

~~~~~~~~~~


Profile Content:


Full Character Name: Eveline Ren Uchida.


Character Nickname: People call her "Eve" or "Evee" for short, but she prefers just Eveline.


Age / Date of Birth [If known]: Eveline is 24, born on March 23, 1982.


Class / Job: She is considered to be in the upper-middle class of today's society. Eveline works at a small coffee shop called "Boabă de Cafea". She has worked there since she was 16 as a waitress. Eveline juggles waiting with school and one other thing. She goes to a private college and is attending her sixth year there studying psychology. Since waiting cannot provide enough income, she's taken up street fighting.


Gender: Female.

Relatives: Eveline has her father, Haru, her twin brother Dorin, and other relatives (aunts, uncles, etc.). Her mother, Olivia, died from the strain of child birth. Dorin and Eveline live together in a manor they inherited from their mother's father in a small town outside of Transylvania. Her father has moved back to Japan, where he feels most comfortable to live out the rest of his days.


Height / Weight: Eveline stands at a staggering 6'. She weighs a healthy 165 pounds.


Other Physical Qualities / Appearances: Being of Japanese decent, Eveline has a high cheekbones, and heart-shaped lips, that are a shade of light pink. Eveline's nose is small, like her Romanian mother's, her favorite feature. Her eyes are shaped like her father's, but also carry some qualities of her mother's: long-lashed, a thin almond shape, piercing green, and have a constant look of sternness behind them. When she lets her hair coal-colored hair down, it hits the center of her back. She has long bangs that sweep off towards the right. Usually, she wears it tied back. As for her body, Eveline is proportioned well. Her bust size counterbalances her curvy hips; giving her a lovely hourglass-shape. Her skin is a very light tan. She is pretty much your classic beauty, but doesn't embrace it. Her arms and legs are slightly toned, and belly flat, from years of practicing several types of martial arts. She is strong, fast, graceful, and has quick reflexes. Eveline has several tattoos on her body; only Dorin knows of them (her father would disown her if he found out). On the side of each hip is a blue lotus flower. Surrounding them are cherry blossoms that are leading up to her back where a traditional Japanese dragon takes up her entire back. She had this done (the old way, where the ink is tapped into the skin) when she was 21, while visiting family in Tokyo.


Mental Qualities / Personality: Eveline is disciplined, stern, and serious, but only when she needs to be. She is otherwise light-hearted, gentle, and calm. She can have a bit of a short fuse, so it is suggested that one stays on her good side. If someone does happen to cross the line, they are unaware because she simply does not let them know. Slowly she will become cold and sarcastic towards them, leaving them baffled as to why she is like that (Dorin trips over this line often). Eveline will hold this grudge for a few days, then get over it. She is intelligent and has a sharp wit. She speaks Romanian (her native tongue), Japanese, Spanish, French, English, and a little bit of Mandarin Chinese. If there is a problem, Eveline can solve it. Her mind is constantly working, and because of this it can be hard for her to fall asleep at night. When she is in a fight, she watches how her opponent moves, studying them closely, trying to calculate their next move. Eveline has trained her body and mind to tolerate pain. She meditates every morning, underneath the lone apple tree that is in the backyard, no matter what the weather is like. It is her favorite place to be (until the apples are in season, and fall on her head).


Background / History: Her father, Haru, was studying abroad when he met her mother. Olivia was painter. They met, in fact, at the coffee shop Eveline works in. Haru knows Romanian, so there was no language barrier, and falling in love eventually happened. He went back to Japan to finish his studies in archeology and moved back to Romania to be with Olivia. They were married on January 6, 1980. They lived happily in a small cottage for the first year, and moved when they found out Olivia was having twins. Olivia's father let them move into the manor, so she can go through her pregnancy comfortably. The birth was a miracle and a tragedy at the same time. Olivia suffered from a aneurysm and her heart failed an hour after the twins were born.

Haru left the babies to be cared for by Olivia's father, Adrian. Haru went back home to Japan to work and sent money to Adrian every month. He did this for ten years, of course visiting them whenever he could afford the plane ticket. Both children grew up quickly mentally. Adrian had them learn Japanese little by little, in case Haru took them to Japan to live, which he eventually did. They moved there just before their 11th birthday. Haru home schooled them for a year just to make sure their Japanese was up to par. Once it was, they were sent off to school. They both graduated with high honors at the age of 16. Throughout this time, Eveline took an interest in martial arts. She learned Judo, Aikido, Karate, and Kendo. After graduating, Dorin went off to college to study Anthropology. Eveline missed Romania, so moved back there to live her grandfather the summer after she graduated. Adrian was glad to have her back. She got her job as the waitress and found a new sensei to teach other things she had not already leaned. Eveline also picked up belly dancing. She saw it as a nice change of pace from all the training she has done. Now when she fights, she incorporates the graceful movements and footwork that dancing has taught her. She worked and trained for two years, then she finally applied for college at 18. She was accepted into a private university.

After two years of working, studying, and training, Eveline needed to make more of an income. Walking home one night from picking up milk at the local market, a man shoved a shocking neon green flyer into her hands. She read it as she made her way home, "TONIGHT: BARON WIKLIS vs. THE VIPER / MIDNIGHT in the BATES HOTEL BASEMENT (password is "chicken waffles", fighters welcome to challenge Bill McGinnis)". The Bates Hotel was rundown and supposedly haunted, but Eveline was going.

At midnight, she left her sleeping grandfather in his recliner and made her way over to the hotel. She got into the basement and witnessed what she wanted to do for the rest of her able life. A large cage was set up in the center of the basement, rowdy men (and women) yelling and hollering at their favorite fighter to win. She felt something tap her bum. It was a very drunken Irish man. Eveline ignored it and moved away. Again her bum was tapped. Now she can only tolerate so much. She turned and punched the man square in the jaw knocking him out cold. The crowd became dead quiet, and the fight stopped. She knocked out Bill McGinnis. To her surprise, she was being praised and was invited to the next fight by the manager of The Viper as a contestant.

Eveline contended in some fights, and a year later, Adrian died of natural causes at the age of 80. He left everything to Eveline and Dorin. To their surprise, Adrian had saved up a small fortune in a savings account. Dorin moved in with his sister and continued his studies at the same college Eveline attends. Eveline told him about the street fighting and he was excited about it. He is now her manager. Three years later, they both have traveled all over Europe and Asia, of course visiting their father whenever they are in Japan. Eveline is due to go over to the Americas to have a re-match with Bill McGinnis. She is now a highly sought after fighter.


Equipment / Clothing: Eveline usually dresses in a casual manner, depending on the weather. Mostly blue jeans and a tee shirt. Her choice of sneakers are a pair of old Converse: Chuck Taylor, low top, ox black (the black ones with the white trim and laces). When she is at work, all she needs to wear is a black, thigh-length apron with a name tag. At school, she is required to wear a discrete uniform. Nothing too schoolgirl-ish. There is a choice of a black sweater vest with a white button up shirt underneath, with black slacks, or a black skirt with a maroon turtle neck. Of course she can mix and match. She does break the rules by wearing her Chucks everyday. She has zero tolerance for heels. When she goes to fight, she wears a sports bra, a baggy pair of black sweat shorts. (low enough to reveal her "oo la la panties", which are not a thong because she thinks they're vile, more like a bikini bottom), and her Chucks. On her hands she wears fingerless gloves to keep her knuckles protected so they don't bleed.

While never using them in combat, Eveline has several katanas and other weapons that she has mounted on the wall in the study.


Other Information: Eveline has never wanted to be in love again after her first heartbreak. She feels it's a burden in life and can ruin anyone. Dorin suspects this is why she can become so callous towards a person who shows an inkling of interest towards her. While having learned English in college, Eveline speaks with an accent. It isn't to thick, she is easy to understand. English was the easiest language for her to learn, other than Japanese and Romanian of course, and speaks it more often than Japanese now. Since her accent is Romanian influenced, people often as her where she is from. Her reply is "Transylvania" because no one has heard of the town she lives in. After her statement, one of the first things people ask is "So, does that make you a vampire or something?", which always gets that someone a sarcastic comment, or a glare (she heavily dislikes certain people).


user posted image



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Sorry about the quality, I had to take a picture of it since there is no scanner avaible at the moment.

sbiggrin.gif

(Be Gentle.)

This post has been edited by Jeanette: Jan 8 2007, 08:21 PM
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Jan 8 2007, 03:36 AM (Post #2)
Masked Insanity
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Posts: 11,179
Cash: 76,637 / 1,231,613
Group: Representative
Joined: 10/16/02 07:09 PM
Don't worry about not being able to post it in the archive. I designed the forum for topics to be moved there after they had been graded. The reason the others were moved there immediately was due to the fact they did not require a grade. sbiggrin.gif

To sum things up quickly though, since I'm short on time...I'll skip the formal rubric and just read from it to grade you.

My Grade: 93/100
-The length was good, and I loved the detail of the entire profile. The names, the character herself, all of it was great. I only docked you points in places I felt you skipped some important points, though I can't really pick them all out. Either way though, you pass easily.

All you need now is for Jingy or Wold to grade this and I will send you a license that will allow to to start your own RP topics and post in some of the more maninstream RPs...not that we have any. unsure.gif
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Jan 8 2007, 04:02 AM (Post #3)
Not Odd anymore
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Posts: 45,875
Cash: 1,915,578 / 1,817,041,051
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Joined: 7/10/02 09:48 PM
Holistic Grades:
Length: 10 (10+ points)
English Syntax: 4 (5+ points) -- Grammar is consistent but the punctuation can be better. I mean commas, really. No big deal. I'm just picky like that.
Creativity: 4 (5+ points) -- we've had enough characters of Japanese ancestry x_x...
Total / Final Grade: 99 (100+ points)

Profile Content:
Full Character Name (s): 3 (3 Points)
Character Nickname (s): 2 (2 Points)
Age / Date of Birth [If Known]: 3 (3 Points)
Class / Job: 3 (3 Points)
Gender: 2 (2 Points)
Relatives: 5 (5 Points)
Height / Weight: 2 (2 Points)
Other Physical Qualities / Appearances: 14 (15 Points)
Mental Qualities / Personality: 15 (15 Points)
Background / History: 20 (20 Points)
Equipment / Clothing: 10 (10 Points)
Other Information: 2 (Not Required, but recommended)

Good job. You pass. ssmile.gif
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Jan 8 2007, 04:25 AM (Post #4)
Masked Insanity
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Posts: 11,179
Cash: 76,637 / 1,231,613
Group: Representative
Joined: 10/16/02 07:09 PM
Good good. ^^ I'll send you a license now.
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Jan 8 2007, 08:43 PM (Post #5)
Foot Soldier
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Joined: 1/23/06 02:37 AM
QUOTE (Jinghao @ Jan 8 2007, 04:02 AM)
Creativity: 4 (5+ points) -- we've had enough characters of Japanese ancestry x_x...
*




O.K. I didn't know, but all is well. She is half Romanian though, which I thought was an interesting mix. But, Yay! I got an RP License! *dances and wiggles*
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Jan 8 2007, 10:53 PM (Post #6)
Masked Insanity
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Posts: 11,179
Cash: 76,637 / 1,231,613
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Yay then, ssmile.gif .

::Topic Moved::
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Jan 8 2007, 11:17 PM (Post #7)
Not Odd anymore
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QUOTE (Jeanette @ Jan 8 2007, 12:43 PM)
O.K.  I didn't know, but all is well.  She is half Romanian though, which I thought was an interesting mix.  But, Yay! I got an RP License! *dances and wiggles*
*


It's not a big deal. You passed ssmile.gif
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Jan 9 2007, 12:13 AM (Post #8)
Foot Soldier
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Posts: 525
Cash: 39,924 / 0
Group: Citizen
Joined: 1/23/06 02:37 AM
IT IS TO ME!

j/k, lol.
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