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BECCA'S NEW STORY. ( Read...., ...Or I will hunt you down)


Jan 19 2007, 03:12 AM (Post #1)
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So.. I'm starting a new story ( Maybe this will become the novel i've been trying to write since 9th grade), and i'm going to post it here, as i do it, in sections. I want EVERYONE to read it, and tell me what you think of what I've done so far, what i should change, what ever. Critique. But not on this topic, i'll post a discussion topic. I really want to write a book, and I've found a story line that I've got alot of ideas for, and I'd like all of your support and b*tching to get me through it. Kay? Thanks.



So, Here we go. The first bit. ( Not really a chapter.. just a first little intro thingie)


UNTITLED PART I
I left my house during the summer. I was 18 years old, not going anywhere fast and I didn't feel like staying where I was anymore. I had lived there my entire life, hardly gone out of the town much, besides visits to relatives and close family friends. Burdened with a relatively conservative family, I wasn't allowed to go out much. I had my friends, but they were all from sunday school, which I attended for 10 years, after service every sunday. I didn't even really believe in God, but I went anyway. It became such a habit that I never missed it. Never in my life. It was a comfort, a constant. I could sit there and listen and feel the inspiration, although it was of no inspiration to me.
My parents drank. A glass of wine with dinner every night, my father drank beer on saturdays. For all I know it's still like that. I haven't spoken to them in a long time. They let me have small glasses of wine since I turned 17, but I hardly indulged. It felt odd to drink with my parents. I was still a child, right? Too young to make my own decisions, so I couldn't drink. Only on holidays, around my cousin's, who all managed to have semi decent parentage. That way, I'd feel cool. My Mother smoked too. Cigarettes. But she hid it, a lot. She'd smoke when she was by herself in her car, and sometimes I'd see her outside late at night. But I could always smell it in the car, and usually it would waft in my window and wake me up. It was a smell I loved. A smell of rebellion. My Mother couldn't stand our life style either, and that made me happy. It was the only bonding point I had with either of my parents.
The night I left was hot, sweaty, and sticky; A typical summer's eve. In my senior year of high school, I started talking to a girl who's views on reality completely identified with everything I'd ever felt, just been unable to vocalize. I sat next to her in my drawing class, a class I normally wouldn't have taken, as my parents wouldn't have liked it. It wouldn't have helped me become a doctor, like my father. But I had to take it to graduate, so there I was, doing something i was actually semi good at, and had never known. Drawing. Xiu's face loomed in front of me, a beautifully arranged face, large green eyes, dark, dark hair, and long eyelashes. Nose ring, a septum, and a lip ring. She spoke softly, but confident in every thing she said.
" This world is a place given to us by what ever mothered this great planet. And here we are, stuck in this s*it-hole town in New Jersey. I can't wait till I'm legal, and can get out of here and find my own path." And as stupid and cliche as it sounds, I believed this Irish girl with dyed hair, piercings and an asian name. And I worshipped her secretly for months, keeping her as an idol of mine. I didn't want to be her, I just wanted to be as.. free as she knew she wanted to be. It frightened me, and I was finally able to say, ' To hell with this." And three day's of hard deliberation, three nights after my 18th birthday, I climbed out of my window, scared to death, and into a car, that was waiting just down the street, with Xiu holding the door open for me, now with short, bright pink, spikey hair, smiling brightly.
" Come along, darlin'. The guys are hungry, so we're going to go get some food." She climbed back into the car as I rounded the hood, and got in next to her in the back seat. I put my seat belt on, placed the backpack i brought on my lap and wrapped my arms around my backpack, linking my hands. It was normally how i sat in a car. I looked up from my backpack, a red Jansport, and found four sets of eyes looking at me, three of which I either didn't know very well, or didn't recognise at all. I stared back, unsure of why they were staring, and then it started to all makes sense. I was wearing slightly baggy jeans, and a plain white t-shirt, my hair down, and no makeup, as I didn't own any. I was a very Plane Jane, even if I wasn't aware of it. What I was aware of, two of the guys were smoking cigarettes, and the other was smoking what looked like a joint. I'd never actually seen one before, just health class, pictures, movies and such. They all had a peircing somewhere on there face, and one had long hair, and a tie die shirt on. He looked like one of the hippie's I'd seen in books, but that was about it. I didn't think anyone could dress like that anymore. He took a drag off the joint, the end an elongated glowing ember, and exhaled slowly, his mouth open, letting the smoke just drift lazily up to the roof of the car, where it curled across the ceiling and down around the windows. He nodded towards Xiu and she took the joint from him and puffed, breathing the smoke out in a steady stream towards my face. I inhaled it on instinct, and smelled the herbal scent of the weed, as it billowed around my face. Xiu smiled, and spoke, again softly.
" You're sure you want to do this. We're going far away, and I don't know how you'd get home if you wimped out half way." I pondered for a moment, and I realised that my hand was holding the handle on the door, clutching, rather than holding really. I took a breath, and let it go, and said, " Yeah. I'm sure." I grinned sheepishly back at Xiu, and the guys in the car chuckled lightly.
The driver announced," Then off to wonderland we go!"
I looked at Xiu, and her eyes twinkled in the street lights as we sped by.She took another drag off the joint, blew it softly at me, and said, " You want some?" The smoke burned my eyes slightly, but I blinked and they cleared. I reached over, pinched the joint, and put it to my mouth.
" Pull the smoke into your mouth, then take a breath and breathe it into your lungs," Xiu explained gesturing with her hands, a silly smile on her face. I did as she said, felt my lungs burn, held it for a second, and exhaled, coughing. I did it again. Coughed. I waited a moment, then took two more small drags, then passed it on. My head began to pulse, and feel heavy, my eyelids drooped. But I was not tired. Relaxed. And I felt as if I'd stumbled upon religion. Completely at peace, surrounded by people who were currently of like-mindedness, and comfortable, on a crusade to find who I was, what I liked, and everything that I'd never been able to be or do. And so far, I was off to a good start.

This post has been edited by Becca: Jan 19 2007, 04:26 AM
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