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Discussion of Becca's story, yup


Jan 19 2007, 03:39 AM (Post #1)
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http://originxt.com/node/15549

Tell me what you think. I want to hear anything from It sucks to awesome.


The longer opinion the better, so I can get more out of it. "It's good," doesn't help me at all.

This post has been edited by Kiro: Jan 19 2007, 03:41 AM
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Jan 19 2007, 03:41 AM (Post #2)
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lol.. it took you a long enough time to make this =P

I'm going to edit in the original story's URL into your post, then close the story, to save on hassle. I'll give my opinion when I'm done
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Jan 19 2007, 03:45 AM (Post #3)
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Don't close the story.... I'm going to continue posting there.... If some one else posts there, delete it. Or better yet, give me the power to delete it.
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Jan 19 2007, 03:51 AM (Post #4)
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It definitely sounds like it could develop into something, but as it stands there is not enough to make a formal opinion on..

You have quite a few grammatical errors, likely the result of rushed typing, and a couple sentence structure problems, for instance, "The night I left was hot, sweaty, and sticky; A typical summer's eve." Using a hyphen would probably make more sense, along with lowering the "A" into an "a."

^^ Keep going though, don't just let it hang... I expect good things to come out of this, and if you don't get further, I'm going to go down there and stomp your ass.
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Jan 19 2007, 03:54 AM (Post #5)
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Now delete your post.
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Jan 19 2007, 03:57 AM (Post #6)
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QUOTE (Becca @ Jan 18 2007, 11:54 PM)
Now delete your post.
*



yes ma'am -_-
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Jan 19 2007, 03:57 AM (Post #7)
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I wrote in my first post that no one else can post there, and to only post here, and i was gonna continue to post there when ever i got new stuff written.


And I eddited my first post to include the last bit that I'm writing tonight. It's about twice as long now. So yeah.

Sleep well, everyone.

This post has been edited by Becca: Jan 19 2007, 04:21 AM
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Jan 19 2007, 05:12 AM (Post #8)
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I like it, o_o, but it so far seems more like the start of a biography than anything else. I would like to hold my opinion and/or critique until you've gotten further into it. sbiggrin.gif
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