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Dragonball Manga - Tale 1, Review

Apr 16 2004, 11:54 PM (Post #1)
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Tale 1 - Bloomers and The Monkey King

The Story:
The scene opens 'long long ago in a deep dark forest far from civilization, beyond a towering range of ... well, you get the idea', as a young boy of no older than 8 or 9 (although it is later revealed to be 12) is walking a huge log towards his home, saying 'wuzzup' to the monkeys as he passes. This man is Son Goku, and he bears a great resemblance to monkeys himself - he has a tale!

The scene switches now to Goku and the log again. He yells some insults at the wood, throws it in the air, and then fly-kicks it, shattering the monstrous piece of forestry into bits of firewood. Impossible for a young man, but he shrugs it off and utters these infamous words "Now Im hungry". He heads into his house, and tells a ball with 4 stars in it that he is going to get some grub. He also calls the ornament 'Grampa'. This will not be the first time we think Son Goku is a tad nuts!

Third scene shift, and this time to a woman looking around near her car. This woman is Bloomers (also called Buruma or Bulma but for consistency we will now always refer to her as Bulma). She removes a bleeping compass from her pocket, reveals she is 'close' to something, gets in her car and drives off.

Goku is now in a forest, wishing he would bump into a tiger. "Just had bear the other day" he reveals. Just how strong is this boy? Anyway, he remembers about fish, just as he finds a huge cliff. Showing no fear he leaps right off, grabs a branch, and flips elegantly in the air, landing on a rock and more surprisingly, on his feet. He strips off, plops his tail in the water, and within seconds a fish swims past, declaring 'Got ya, ya dumb-butt little monkey'. He leaps out of the water to grab the tail, but Goku is too fast. He dodges to the left, leaps into the air, fly kicks the fish like it was the wood, and has now claimed his food.

Dragonball Fight #1 - Goku vs Big Fish. Winner - Goku

As Goku is dragging his fish home, he notices a 'monster' behind him. It is actually Bulma in her car. She narrowly avoids crashing into Goku and his dinner, which is lucky as the dumbass was in the middle of the road, but instead of being grateful he lifts the car (with Bulma still in it) right over his head, throws it away, pulls a stick from the holster around his back, and tells the 'monster' to "C'mon and fight!!!"

Bulma however produces a handgun and shoots Goku square in the forehead. He is knocked back, with no scars but a few lost hairs. He screams at Bulma, calling her a witch, and she is in shock. "Wh-what are you...?! Why aren't you dead?!". Goku - "Ha! Dummy! Stupid! Think you can hurt me?! With little owchies like that!?! Hah, now demon! Prepare to fight". Bulma desperately calls for a time out and rushingly explains she isnt a demon, but a human (which is blatantly obvious -_-). Goku is startled ; "Really, a human?" Goku takes no chances and bounces around Bulma, keeping his stick aimed at her, and inspecting every inch. Finally he announces that "You're kinda like me... but there's something ... different. You seem kinda ... softer ... and bumpier!!". Bulma - "Well duh, brainiac! You're a big He-Man and I'm a cute lil girl!". Goku - "G-girl!? You mean .. female ?!". It turns out Goku hasnt seen a girl before. In fact, he has never seen another HUMAN before!!! But his dead grampa told him "If you ever meet a girl, treat her nice". So he stops being so edgy, and notes that females dont have tails. Bulma notices his and just thinks that he's wearing a fake one to look cool.

So, after Bulma explains to Goku that the monster is a car, and that she is from 'was far west', Goku offers her to come to his house for food. "So long as thats all you do" she says, and follows behind, noting he's "Pretty strong for a runt" and although being a freak (oh thats just the tip of the ice berg Bulma stongue.gif), that she may be able to use his strength. So the two go into his house, and Goku tells the orb that there's a female human in the house. Bulma screams at the orb. "Thats it!!!! Its the dragonball!!!!". Her compass was a Dragonball Detector, and she reveals to Goku that she already has 2 more Dragonball's. Goku is confused. "Aaa! More Grampa?! TWO more Grampas?!?!". Bulma sits him down and explains. These orbs are infact Dragonballs. She found one in her cellar, but no-one knew what it was. So she did research of her own and found an old, old, OLD story that described them. "There were originally seven Dragon Balls, and each one of them glows with the light of the tiny stars inside .. from one star to seven".

Goku's 'Grampa' is in fact the four-starred Dragonball, aka Sushinchu. Bulma's cellar one was the two-starred Dragonball, aka Arushinchu, and after weeks of searching in the north, she found the five-starred Dragonball, aka Oshinchu. Goku thinks she is collecting them to make a bead necklace, but Bulma goes on.

"An amazing thing happens when you get all seven. You just chant the right chant to summon Shenlong, the Dragon god. He'll grant you ANY wish! But only ONE!!" (it later amounts that there are other rules to this wish, but those will be revealed later).

Goku declares it to be awesome, and Bulma says that "the last person who collected the Dragon Balls became a King!!". Her wish? Well first she wanted a life time supply of strawberries (-_-), but now she has made a 'maturer' wish : for a super-cute boyfriend (-_-_-)! So she finally asks Goku for Sushinchu, but he pulls away. "No!! NO WAY!! This is the only Grampa I got left" She winks knowingly, saying 'I get it! You naughty boy! You want something in exchange swink.gif" She pulls up her skirt and says "Ok! But just one quick lil feel". Goku is really confused. "Why would I wanna feel your dirty butt?". Bulma is raging mad "My butt is NOT DIRTY!!!!".

She calms down and asks Goku if he wants to help on the quest, seeing as his Grampa told him to treat girls nicely and all. He agrees so long as he can keep Grampa and that Bulma just borrow at the end. She has a plot however : "Hee hee heee, perfect ! Idiot-lad'll be the ideal bodyguard. And he doesn't need to know that once the wish is granted the Dragon Balls fly off to the ends of the Earth!!!!" (i've got a word for Bulma which also begins with B but i'll leave that to the imagination stongue.gif)

Just as the would-be companions are about to set off, Goku has one final question. "How're we gonna find the other balls if you don't even know where they are?". Bulma reveals her compass thing, (which she calls a Ball Detector). She "noticed that the balls give off a faint electromagnetic pulse, so I constructed it! See, these three in the middle are the ones we have right now, and .... the next closest one is to the west! About 1'200 kilometres". Goku still doesnt get it, but to the rest of us it is obvious that when you click the top of the Detector it shows you where all 7 DBs are.

Now they final introduce themselves, but we already know they are Son Goku and Bulma. Goku laughs at Bulma because her name means Bloomers (women's underwear. this is the first in Akira Toriyama (Dragonball's creator)'s humorous family names. Bulma's are ; Bulma (womens underwear), Dr Briefs (father, mens underwear), Mrs Briefs (same, mother), and later Trunks (mens underwear, son) and Bra (womens underwear, daughter)).

Bulma produces a small cart, like a tobacco tray, from her handbag, and picks out a capsule, 'number 9'. She clicks the top and throws it into the air. BOOM!. A motorbike appears. Yet another thing Goku needs explained to him, as he yells 'witch' (close Goku, now remove the w, add a b....) at Bulma. She just tells him to get over it and that everyone has Hoi-Poi Capsules. The two set off, and Goku is again amazed. "Th-this thing g-goes even faster than I can RUN!!! I didn't think that was POSSIBLE!!!". All Bulma has to say is "HEY!!! Watch what you're grabbing onto!!".

20 minutes later, and the bikers hit a steep hill, sending the bike in the air, then crash landing. Goku is amazed that they could FLY!, but Bulma just asks to be 'excused'. Goku - "Huh? Why?! Where you going?!" Bulma - "Dont you have ANY idea what a lady means when she says 'scuse me', you OAF!!?" Goku - "You mean you gotta pee?". (lmao). Well Bulma storms off into the trees, and Goku wonders why she has to pee all the way over there and not just here like a normal person. A few moments later Goku heres her screaming and shows again how little he knows about women. "I hope her weenie didn't get bit by a snake".

He turns the corner to find that a PTERODACTYL (big, flying dinosaur) has her captive. Pterodactyl - "Who are you?!! Part of her pack?!!" Goku - "Nah, I just met her. You a friend of hers?!" (-_- yeah baka, thats why shes SCREAMING!), Pterodactyl - "Yeah, friend, thats it. Bwahahaha, look, there's something I have to discuss with her in private ok? You just wait right here".

Goku begins to wonder when he ties him up, but merely says "dont take too long". The Pterodactyl flies off eagerly awaiting its meal, and Bulma FINALLY shouts out "rescue me, idiot!". Goku unties himself with his tail, shakes his fist at the pterodactyl and calls him a rubbish friend, then ponders how to catch up to it if he cant fly. Then he remembers the flying motorbike. So he runs back to it, hops on, twists the handle like Bulma did, and away he goes. He propels it off of a hill and shouts "FLY MONSTER!!!!". He gets pretty close to the pterodactyl, but then begins to fall. However he leaps off the bike, removes his stick and shouts "have a little Nyoibo". The stick grows out in length, and Goku cracks it across the Pterodactyl's neck. All three fall, Bulma screams, but Goku is relaxed. He throws Nyoibo at Bulma, lands nimbly on his feet, the Pterodactyl falls on its head, and the scene ends with Bulma hanging onto the stick, embedded into a cliff face, peeing herself.

Goku - "See? All's swell that ends swell!"
Bulma - "What's so SWELL about peeing my PANTS?!!"

Dragonball Fight #2 - Goku vs Pterodactyl. Winner - Goku

The Review:
A comedic start to the saga that is Dragonball/Z/GT. It sets the pace well with ridiculous circumstances, over-blown fights with strange creatures, a stupid-yet-powerful main character, and tonnes of teenage humour! A brilliant start to a timeless classic.
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Apr 17 2004, 02:10 AM (Post #2)
Whatchu lookin at?
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It's ace dude swink.gif though, he's a nerd.
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Apr 17 2004, 03:32 AM (Post #3)
Not Odd anymore
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Reminds me of me <_<
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